a day at Bryan’s
today started out as any normal day at the boyfriend’s cos he was injured (read more at his blog since he actually gives details of his injury.. while i just say he is sent to the A&E..haha..).. took a bus ride down to Holland V and had Breko Breakfast!!!!! it’s cheap and nice.. recommended.. A++++.. ahhaha.. and the fact that there was nobody was a big plus! had a breko fast which is basically a big breakfast look-a-like.. while Bryan had his peter pan which was a hotcakes happy meal.. hahahah…
then off we hopped to Jelita with the intention of borrowing VCDs.. ended up deciding against it cos if we only borrow one.. come and return one quite dumb… now i am predicting we’d end up borrowing on thurs… hahahaha…
then we went home.. and i dunno wat we did.. but we ended up taking a walk a while later down the road and took a bus to Ginza cos the king wanted to eat KFC.. hahahaha.. the weather’s crazy nowadays.. i cant even walk 5 mins without dying.. Ginza as usual wasn’t that entertaining so we went back to his area and rot..
since he wasn’t entertaining me.. i began rummaging through his neatly arranged stuff on top of his drawers (his maid, i assume, packed it for him couple of days back).. hahaha.. the funny thing was he was on his laptop when i suddenly started looking at his stuff and he peeked right outta his laptop and said something like, “what u doing? everytime u keep damn quiet means u are doing something mischievious” and along the lines he added that i am like some small kid.. must have parental supervision if not will tear down the place.. hahahaha…
so i ended up looking through his stuff and i ended up clearing his certs and all into their respective places.. and then i reached a drawer that contained all his past letters and photos… my initial reaction when he told me that there should be those things in that drawer was to not see it at all.. i dunno why but i din really wanna view them.. just not my style i guess.. to intervene into ppl’s past.. so i swept every single drawer except that drawer…
after abt half an hr of flipping thru all the stuff in the other drawers, i decided that maybe i should take a look at them afterall.. haha.. in a sense it wasnt even curiosity that sparked all of those.. it’s as though i needed some sorta closure.. to just get this done and over with.. in a way to understand wat went on during that time..
i slowly leafed through the scattered letters in that drawer.. there was letters from people i knew.. and people i din know abt.. with each breath, i read out loud the words written on them.. i always find myself reading things out loud to balance out the emotions in me.. it’s as though by reading it out loud, i am experiencing all the drama and emotions from a 3rd person’s point of view.. this, i think, would be what all of u call denial.. hahaha.. anyways.. so i read, one at a time, till i reached the last few letters..
as i read one of Diana’s letters to him, he suddenly came and said, “Stop. Stop reading them.” maybe i was oblivious to how i was appearing to sound or look like.. but at that pt of time.. i actually wanted to finish that letter.. i wasn’t overwhelmed (at least i feel i wasn’t that overwhelmed yet) with emotions.. but when i stopped.. Bryan came over and hugged me.. reassuring me that those were all in the past, and nothing’s gonna change what we have now.. that made me realise just what i was actually going through.. with each letter, my heart actually broke a little.. not much, but enough to make me a little sadder.. but my denial skills have barred me away from all these that i din even realise it till i broke the momentum of reading..
so we stood there.. embracing each other when i realise that “hey, i’m upset”.. and somehow, his words did what they were supposed to do.. and i’m glad he did what he did.. i’m sure it wasn’t a pretty sight to be comforting a girlfriend abt what u did in the past, but he handled it well.. and he knew he hadda do something, instead of letting me handle all that alone… for that, Thank You.
after i’m done with all the letters, he threw them all away.. and told me that they were all in the past and he realised that i get affected by letters from Diana… i have to admit.. i’m jealous of her cos she took away what i should have at that point of time.. and she denied me of the chance to be happy 5 years ago.. but today, i told Bryan that i have what Diana didn’t have… and that is that i have him now.. awww so sweet right.. i also think so.. hahahaha.. but i was really glad that i’ve come to this conclusion.. for the longest time, i have been thinking of what could have happened if Diana din get into the picture 5 yrs back… today i finally figured that i ought to be happy and not jealous of her cos now, i have what i want.. and i’m the happiest person alive.. so what’s there to be jealous abt..
strange how it took me 2 whole months to realise this.. haha..
the glutton proceeded to his dining area and had rice and egg tarts for dinner while i stared on.. just wasn’t too hungry.. hahaha.. then the family had their usual crappy conversations and all.. kinda interesting to hear the stuff they say to each other..
and then missy headed home cos it was getting late.. it was a meaningful day today.. we went through a big part of his life.. and i’m glad we closed that chapter.. 
p.s: stuff quoted are not accurately quoted cos ah, my memory is failing me.. i can’t even recall wat i said can!!! somemore it’s only a few hrs ago kind.. i’m seriously getting alzheimer’s…
